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Oct. 25th, 2009

The Boundary?

Where is the line that separates salt from the sea?
What is the line that separates you and me?

Where is the line that separates air from breath?
What is the line that separates life and death?


Remarkable is the ability of the human mind; to create a boundary where there is none. Remarkable is my being; to respect the traitor of the mind.

Aug. 31st, 2009

Recent movies

State of Play - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0473705/ - watchable once. A few unexpected twists. but for that nothing impressive about this.
Rear Window - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0047396/ - Old movie, possibly a trend-setter at that time - wasn't that impressive. Very less surprises. Maybe a good movie for people who are learning editing, direction and camera. Nothing for the common-man. Definitely not top 16 movie as told by imdb.
Quick Gun Murugan - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1176911/ - one movie which is not worth rating at all. A movie that I couldn't watch even for one scene. The jarring BGM, poor dialogues, ridiculous picturization were all rubbish. If it were a dish, I would have vomitted by the smell of it. Enough said.

Kanthaswamy - (What????? It is not listed in imdb!) - anyways. After so many bad reviews from my friends and after 1 hr 45 minutes of garbage from QGM, we sat with a mindset in which we would have appreciated any movie leave alone Kanthaswamy.
This is how I summarized the experience to my friends:

"I don't know what film you all watched.. The version that I watched today was not this detestable. In fact, I liked the racy screenplay and dialogues.
Story - cliche
Preaching - unfortunate
Dialogues - punch
Music - Some songs were unwanted - but the last song was a welcome break for me to go to the rest room
BGM - the sad and soulful version seemed to be lifted from the BGM of Autograph. It has been haunting for me since Autograph days and at one point in time (when I had forgotten about Autograph), I thought I myself had created that tune! Seems to have inspired DSP (Devi Sri Prasad) too."

Not really a must-watch (for reasons, you may have to wait for another blog entry). But if you happen to watch it, you may not switch to something else, that easily.
Tags:

Aug. 28th, 2009

9 years ago!

Exactly 9 years ago, we started our first year first sem in College.. Suddenly I don't seem to remember anything about the college right now. I am sure I never thought how I would think about it 10 years from then. I always had problems with time. Even now, I would not be able to remember the series of events that happened unless they form a list of thoughts logically linked with one another.

Mind seems totally confused with different thoughts that am not able to correlate any of them. Let me stop right here.

Aug. 19th, 2009

It happened



Sometimes, reality slaps you on your face, you naturally look up with gratitude and immediately look down as the heaviness of the water in your eyes drag your head down, slowly as you close the eye doors, the droplets escape through the doors and fall off the cheeks, making the heart wet at the end.
And then one opens her eyes as if woken up for a sev-2* at 2 AM in the midnight only to realize humans and their behaviors are not to be understood, ever.. They are just that way, whichever way that is.
But for me, all of these happened without the slap from reality.. (probably am special ;-) ).. This gift for my engagement by Mr. H's mom made that happen for me.


*sev-2 - Indication of an event which breaks the business promise of the service at least for a while.

Jul. 6th, 2009

Another wonderful trip in the western ghats

I happened to go again to this holy place of western ghats, and this time with a lot of young and energetic juniors and some other seniors (all of them Amazon colleagues).
A wonderful sharing is available here.

May. 30th, 2009

I'm loving my Mac

It is probably a crush.. but the sweetness of the half-eaten apple is just too good. The very keyboard that I type now is cool..
Moving from windows to Mac, was for the major part, seamless.. as a lot of applications that I interact with are web apps and yes.. firefox is there for mac.
How did I copy the passwords from the firefox in windows?  - Password Exporter addon did that trick..

How did I get all my browsing history to the mac? - little bit of googling and some commonsense.. Google said that I can get it from history.dat in my profiles directory.. Such a file was not there in my Windows box.. It was there in my Linux though (which was 2.x). Here is where commonsense got the better of me.. I sorted the files and folders in that profiles directory in reverse chronological order (recently modified being on top) and then visited a new site in my firefox.. boom, places.sqlite came on the top :-).. I copied that (after shutting down firefox) and pasted it in profiles folder of mac, and boom... got all my browsing history here..

Things I love about my Mac
  • Its mouse.. it has both horizontal and vertical scroll in a small mouse ball (not a wheel). So? So.. while watching a movie, if I scroll up or down, it changes the volume and.. if I scroll left or right, it fast forwards or rewinds the movie :-)
  • The Keyboard - I didn't notice the change until I started typing my usual keyboard after a long time typing in my Mac..
  • Rendering - For some reason, I feel all the pages shown more pleasantly in a Mac than on any other computer.. my Linux desktops' rendering sucks.. Windows is good.. Mac is just cool..
  • No reboot - nothing to restart when a new software is installed.. Cool like *nix.
  • No insomania - If I ask it to sleep, it just does it in a fraction of a second. If I ask it to wake up.. I am surprised each time it wakes up that quickly..
  • Got my admin account .. will soon try iLife
Things I miss in my Mac
  • No pageup or down keys :-( neither home or end keys.. although command arrows are there.. but still..
Update:
  • Found that fn up and down arrows are page up and page down.
  • The main thing that I miss now is the lack of right click
With Mac on my lap top... signing off..

May. 18th, 2009

Get your blog on the kindle

Mine: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0029U27IW

Get yours from
https://kindlepublishing.amazon.com
Tags: ,

May. 13th, 2009

Kumara Parvath

The end of last week and the weekend was something special to my brother and myself. We attended a sathsang in Mysore with my mom and Ms B during Thursday and Friday. Friday night we started our trip towards the interesting and sacred Kumara Parvath. I heard the following about this place and right then I decided to scale this mountain and verify the experience.

"Kumara, the son of Shiva, after slaying too many kings, was very disturbed. With the sword still in his hands, blood flowing out of it, being very agitated, he started the climb towards the peak of this mountain (now known as kumara parvath or pushpagiri). After reaching the top, he stood there and consciously left his body in standing posture. Generally yogis leave their body either in sitting posture or lying down. ... Surrounding the place where he left the body, there are a lot of small sized stones that have 6 faces. A lot of them are just scattered around that place."

More was said about how it was to feel the place in terms of its energy and how the trek was not that easy. I was just curious about all of it especially the 6 faced stones. Wanting to experience them all myself, I developed the longing to walk this mountain. The opportunity came a little sooner than I expected and I just grabbed it.

Last friday night, a group of 8 people, including my brother and two ladies, started our journey towards KP. We hired a Toyota Qualis to drop us in Somwarpet from Mysore. We started around 11:40 PM on Friday and reached Somwarpet around 2:45 AM on Sat. We slept for a couple of hours and started our journey towards the base camp, Beeda halli, around 5 AM on Sat. We reached that place around 7:30 AM. We had a couple of tents, three bottles of water for each of us, 6 packets of bread, 15 packets of electrol, first-aid kit, dress for a couple of days. We wanted some native people from that village to help us both in initial navigation and to carry at least one of the tents. We got three pseudo adults who decided us to help us in both. Within 2 kms, we found out that they couldn't carry the tent.

At the 3 km mark, we got to the forest checkpoint were we had to pay Rs 115 per head to proceed with the trek. At that point, my brother and I decided to take one of the tents ourselves and proceeded ahead of others. Within 10 mins, we entered the dense forest. The path was well marked for us from there. We had to cover another 6.5 KMs. It was around 9 AM by then. We found out that two couldn't carry the tent as the path was too narrow for two of us to go in parallel. Anna decided to take the tent himself and kept marching ahead of me with steady pace. I couldn't match his speed and hence was always behind him by 5 to 10 mins. The path was very moist and full of rotten leaves. Tall, huge and dense trees shielded us completely from the sun's heat if not light. That left the doorway open for the leeches in the ground. Every step we paced, there were leeches waiting to crawl in to suck the blood out of us. A few managed. Unaware, I was pacing only to find out much later there were atleast 5 leeches on me at various stages of the trek uphill. It was a pleasant climate and we kept walking in silence. Hence there was no need for water, but I still drank periodically, but occasionally to ensure that I don't dehydrate.

After sometime, we had lost the rest of the gang completely. At every 1 km mark, my brother would call my name and if I were around somewhere, he would proceed walking. Most of the path was around 40 degree inclination. At some other places it was even more. This was one trek were there was no down slope at all during the climb. My heavy bag, and blood loss due to leeches made me feel really tired. At a point were we were 2.75 KMs away from the peak, the trek became a real struggle. Right then, I saw a near vertical rock to climb. Anna was waiting there, probably for 10 - 15 mins. Too many things were running in my mind at that time. I opened my bag and was desperately searching for things that I can just throw away to make it lighter. I even thought of just getting down from there. But I didn't do any of them. We waited for another 30 mins there trying to make up our mind to take the next step. The 5 mins post we resumed our trek from that point was a huge struggle. Our legs had become really weak. But for some reason, I just kept walking. The forest was getting much more denser and it was more beautiful. If not for anything, I decided I should just reach the place where Kumara reached, possibly 30 - 40 thousand years ago.

After a little more than a km, the dense forest made way to plains, but still steep. There were just rocks all around us below and mist all above us. Visibility was there only for 30 - 40 feet. It was as if we were walking in heaven, but for the poor legs which wouldn't take me quicker and the cunning mind, which already started thinking about dying at that place or even anna getting enlightened leaving behind me! ;-)

Suddenly, possibly a KM away from the peak, the whole system went for a toss and I started freaking out. Legs and mind were no longer an issue. Unmarked rocky terrain was no longer an issue. Legs kept walking as if it drank some energy drink. It was as if someone was just guiding us through. We were just moving along a force which was pulling us. Soon, I overtook anna and started leading him about 10 steps. He too later shared a similar experience of being guided by something beyond our understanding much earlier. All these while the fog was still covering our view and wind blowing sideways causing a whirl of the mist and a chill in our skin. We seem to have covered a lot, and I was wondering whether we would ever see the peak at all.. And right then, to my utmost surprise, we saw the orange flag atop a stone structure.

Yes, I have scaled it, I thought. But more than that, the place was vibrating with something out of ordinary. I have been to Kedar and even to Kailash. Both involved a large part of it on foot. I would say that the power of the peak of kumara parvath completely blew us away. It was just overwhelming and freaking us out. Much more than Kailash, I thought. There could be many reasons for it. We probably have become more sensitive (senses have become sharper, I mean) to energies around us. Maybe it was just too serene and we two had nothing inhibiting us in expressing what was happening within us. Maybe it was really a hard trek which ensured the necessary preparations happened to us. Maybe it was all the above together.. On the whole, the place just rocked!

We were crazy for the next 1 hour.. I managed to see the time even being crazy.. It was 12:40 PM. We did our meditation there.. Anna did guru pooja there and started with Kriya. I was all eyes and other senses opened admiring the place.

After a couple of hours, the other 6 joined us. We spent some more time eating all that they had brought and attempted constructing a tent there for them to sleep..  Since we had a train to catch in the night of the next day, three of us decided to start our trek downhill. It was 4:30 PM when we started. We kept walking, unmindful of another 4 or 5 leeches, covered the next 10 kms in 2 hours and most importantly before sun could set fully :-).

At that place, called Girigade, there was this house of a simply amazing family of Bhat and his children. They gratefully accepted us to stay in their house for the night and even provided food. The next day morning, when we were about to leave, I expressed my desire to see the kumara linga (6 faced stone) to Mr. Bhatt. He gladly took us inside and showed us one of the stones that he had picked up. It was too incredible to be true. The 6 faces were so regular and smooth as if carved and smoothend. I was imagining a totally different structure of the 6 faced stone and hence couldn't spot any atop the hill. Next time, I decided, I would make sure I get one of these atop the mountain.

Truly a great way to spend the weekend. Western ghats and especially this mountain, is definitely a treat and a must go place. I wish and hope you all will someday experience the power of this place.

Kumara Parvath

The end of last week and the weekend was something special to my brother and myself. We attended a sathsang in Mysore with my mom and Ms B during Thursday and Friday. Friday night we started our trip towards the interesting and sacred Kumara Parvath. I heard the following about this place and right then I decided to scale this mountain and verify the experience.

"Kumara, the son of Shiva, after slaying too many kings, was very disturbed and angry. With the sword still in his hands, blood flowing out of it, being very agitated, he started the climb towards the peak of this mountain (now known as kumara parvath or pushpagiri). After reaching the top, he stood there and conciously left his body in standing posture. Generally yogis leave their body either in sitting posture or lying down. ... Surrounding the place where he left the body, there are a lot of small sized stones that have 6 faces. A lot of them are just scattered around that place."

More was said about how it was to feel the place in terms of its energy and how the trek was not that easy. I was just curious about all of it especially the 6 faced stones. Wanting to experience them all myself, I developed the longing to walk this mountain. The opportunity came a little sooner than I expected and I just grabbed it.

Last friday night, a group of 8 people, including my brother and two ladies, started our journey towards KP. We hired a Toyota Qualis to drop us in Somwarpet from Mysore. We started around 11:40 PM on Friday and reached Somwarpet around 2:45 AM on Sat. We slept for a couple of hours and started our journey towards the base camp, Beeda halli, around 5 AM on Sat. We reached that place around 7:30 AM. We had a couple of tents, three bottles of water for each of us, 6 packets of bread, 15 packets of electrol, first-aid kit, dress for a couple of days. We wanted some native people from that village to help us both in initial navigation and to carry at least one of the tents. We got three pseudo adults who decided us to help us in both. Within 2 kms, we found out that they couldn't carry the tent.

At the 3 km mark, we got to the forest checkpoint were we had to pay Rs 115 per head to proceed with the trek. At that point, my brother and I decided to take one of the tents ourselves and proceeded ahead of others. Within 10 mins, we entered the dense forest. The path was well marked for us from there. We had to cover another 6.5 KMs. It was around 9 AM by then. We found out that two couldn't carry the tent as the path was too narrow for two of us to go in parallel. Anna decided to take the tent himself and kept marching ahead of me with steady pace. I couldn't match his speed and hence was always behind him by 5 to 10 mins. The path was very moist and full of rotten leaves. Tall, huge and dense trees shielded us completely from the sun's heat if not light. That left the doorway open for the leeches in the ground. Every step we paced, there were leeches waiting to crawl in to suck the blood out of us. A few managed. Unaware, I was pacing only to find out much later there were atleast 5 leeches on me at various stages of the trek uphill. It was a pleasant climate and we kept walking in silence. Hence there was no need for water, but I still drank periodically, but occasionally to ensure that I dont dehydrate.

After sometime, we had lost the rest of the gang completely. At every 1 km mark, my brother would call my name and if I were around somewhere, he would proceed walking. Most of the path was around 40 degree inclination. At some other places it was even more. This was one trek were there was no down slope at all during the climb. My heavy bag, and blood loss due to leeches made me feel really tired. At a point were we were 2.75 KMs away from the peak, the trek became a real struggle. Right then, I saw a near vertical rock to climb. Anna was waiting there, probably for 10 - 15 mins. Too many things were running in my mind at that time. I opened my bag and was desperately searching for things that I can just throw away to make it lighter. I even thought of just getting down from there. But I didn't do any of them. We waited for another 30 mins there trying to make up our mind to take the next step. The 5 mins post we resumed our trek from that point was a huge struggle. Our legs had become really weak. But for some reason, I just kept walking. The forest was getting much more denser and it was more beautiful. If not for anything, I decided I should just reach the place where Kumara reached, possibly 30 - 40 thousand years ago.

After a little more than a km, the dense forest made way to plains, but still steep. There were just rocks all around us below and mist all above us. Visibility was there only for 30 - 40 feet. It was as if we were walking in heaven, but for the poor legs which wouldn't take me quicker and the cunning mind, which already started thinking about dying at that place or even anna getting enlightened leaving behind me! ;-)

Suddenly, possibly a KM away from the peak, the whole system went for a toss and I started freaking out. Legs and mind were no longer an issue. Unmarked rocky terrain was no longer an issue. Legs kept walking as if it drank some energy drink. It was as if someone was just guiding us through. We were just moving along a force which was pulling us. Soon, I overtook anna and started leading him about 10 steps. He too later shared a similar experience of being guided by something beyond our understanding much earlier. All these while the fog was still covering our view and wind blowing sideways causing a whirl of the mist and a chill in our skin. We seem to have covered a lot, and I was wondering whether we would ever see the peak at all.. And right then, to my utmost surprise, we saw the orange flag atop a stone structure.

Yes, I have scaled it, I thought. But more than that, the place was vibrating with something out of ordinary. I have been to Kedar and even to Kailash. Both involved a large part of it on foot. I would say that the power of the peak of kumara parvath completely blew us away. It was just overwhelming and freaking us out. Much more than Kailash, I thought. There could be many reasons for it. We probably have become more sensitive (senses have become sharper, I mean) to energies around us. Maybe it was just too serene and we two had nothing inhibiting us in expressing what was happening within us. Maybe it was really a hard trek which ensured the necessary preparations happened to us. Maybe it was all the above together.. On the whole, the place just rocked!

We were crazy for the next 1 hour.. I managed to see the time even being crazy.. It was 12:40 PM. We did our meditation there.. Anna did guru pooja there and started with Kriya. I was all eyes and other senses opened admiring the place.

After a couple of hours, the other 6 joined us. We spent some more time eating all that they had brought and attempted constructing a tent there for them to sleep..  Since we had a train to catch in the night of the next day, three of us decided to start our trek downhill. It was 4:30 PM when we started. We kept walking, unmindful of another 4 or 5 leeches, covered the next 10 kms in 2 hours and most importantly before sun could set fully :-).

At that place, called Girigade, there was this house of a simply amazing family of Bhat and his children. They gratefully accepted us to stay in their house for the night and even provided food. The next day morning, when we were about to leave, I expressed my desire to see the kumara linga (6 faced stone) to Mr. Bhatt. He gladly took us inside and showed us one of the stones that he had picked up. It was too incredible to be true. The 6 faces were so regular and smooth as if carved and smoothend. I was imagining a totally different structure of the 6 faced stone and hence couldn't spot any atop the hill. Next time, I decided, I would make sure I get one of these atop the mountain.

Truly a great way to spend the weekend. Western ghats and especially this mountain, is definitely a treat and a must go place. I wish and hope you all will someday experience the power of this place.

Mar. 30th, 2009

Divine river

Once upon a time there lived a old Master. His disciples were of varied types, as usual, some sincere, some devoted, some jolly, some inquisitive, some doubting and the rest unbelieving. He had different ways for different people as he had to choose the right path for each of their characteristics. As part of the process, he once sent one of his students to a long distance trip by walk. He went a long way just walking eating whatever was available and offered and spent the time with dignity. After a few days, he reached a place where there was a beautiful river flowing. He went towards it and bowed to it with full reverence. Having seen a water body after this long, he was so happy and spent a lot of time there.
He then tasted that water and found it divine. Immediately he decided to share this with his Master and hence he took it in one of his old bags and started the journey back to the place where his Master lived.
It took him another three days to return and once he saw his Master again, both were in joy. He told his Master about the whole journey and told about the river. And then with utmost earnestness he offered the water of the river to his Master. His master drank that water and found it as sweet and divine as how his pupil found. He praised his student for bringing it back and then asked him to distribute it to the other students. One of them took it and even before he could take it near his mouth, he puked. He then got so surprised on how his master was able to consume the three day stale water and even comment that it was sweet! He asked him the same question for which the Master replied: Its not the water that was sweet and divine, its his longing to share it with us that made it sweet and divine.
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Mar. 6th, 2009

The Tortoise

Heroes are rare. I have always enjoyed the thrill of watching heroism in my life. But the unfortunate part is settling to the vicarious pleasure. I will reserve that lament for latter and just talk about this Hero in my life, probably in our lives.
Let me make it a fable to give myself the freedom to paint the poem.
On a certain day, the Panther said to the Rabbit that its going for a trek in the Himalayas. Trek in the rough terrains of the Himalayas. The great mountains. A sacred trip with friends. Rabbit fell for it immediately. Little did the Rabbit know the deep trap it fell on that could possibly take its life later. The Rabbit started its trip towards death starting with a talk with the Tortoise (our hero). The Tortoise didn't talk much but ensured that the Rabbit did some preparatory work for 7 days (which the Rabbit remembers later as the beautiful rainbow days of its life, especially the Yellow day) before it gets to take its first step on the Trek. And then, as they say, it is all history.
The rest of the story neither makes sense to the author or would for the reader and hence they are just blank ;)

The Tortoise - young and still wise

Bony and bounty, with a
Heart as big as the world.
Oozing with love,
Only those closed get spared.
Paths separate did we take,
Entered the same place at the end.
Silent, it deceives initially,
Hang around, life would dance through its stillness.

with Gratitude and Love,
the Rabbits and the Panthers.

Feb. 1st, 2009

A walk to remember in our College road

5 years ago, during our final year in our college, probably during the final days of it, a pleasant evening, through the shades of the trees alongside the Vivek audi road, I was walking over the tar road with my friends. I generally don't do much of the talking and that gives me ample time to "look" at "interesting" beings here and there, however few they were, alongside the road. This strange behaviour of mine attracted a huge verbal insult of sorts for his standards, from Mr. H, by coining the metaphor "sight-house" for me!

So, that being a very lucky day, yeah, you can add two more very to that lucky day, that there were three people coming in the opposite side of the road. Two men and one interesting being in between them. Only the rarest of human beings could focus their eyes so fine that they could just see the thing in between the two men. And as you would have guessed, I was one among those gifted beings. Spot on focus.. Head slowly turning as we cross (remember alaipayuthey.., something like that). There was a slight visual distraction in my view suddenly, or I thought there was one, but my focus was so super that it could recognize sound from noise.

After a minute or so since we crossed each-other, my mind suddenly remembered the distraction and started to interpret it. "Oh.. someone was waving at me" it concluded... Right at the same time, I was hearing my name loud and clear from the back.. I looked back in the direction of the sound and saw one of the men now.. Mr. K, who sat with me through out the first semester in the same bench was waving his hands at me and I recognized that this was the distraction that I perceived sometime back..
As if that was not enough, now I set my eyes upon the other guy surrounding the 'being', he was also a friend of mine known through Mr. K. I was caught red-handed, sorry red-faced.. Every cell of mine was blushing and I managed a smile back at him.. We probably were exchanging many sentences for the next five minutes and none of which I remember now.. All through that five minutes I was fully into myself... Not guilty about the focus, but embarrassed by getting caught! 

It all came back to me again today when I read http://glinden.blogspot.com/2006/01/early-amazon-xmas-at-warehouse.html (the penultimate comment there mainly). Although this incident keeps coming back to me several times, the other article just pushed me enough to pen it down here. Mr. K, if he is reading, would never forget this I think.

Nov. 28th, 2008

The white all

Losing the prism,
I now see only white.

I miss the blue,
I miss the violet,
I miss the color,
that distracts the life.
Losing the prism,
I now see only one thing.

Lost the prism,
but no cry this time,
lost my capability,
but no worries this time,
lost my self,
but no fear this time.

Losing the prism,
I now see only love.

Nov. 18th, 2008

Head first!

Y'day I had gone to pick Miss K from the Central station and drop her at Airport as she had a flight at 4 AM the next day. After the warm exchanges, I led her to my car. My dashboard prominently had this book titled "Murder is Easy! ". She read that title and was laughing out loud. She then turned back and found another book in the back seat which was titled "Head first Design Patterns". Owing to her non-computer science background, the question that came out of her made me ROTFLOL.. "Is it a book about hair-dressing or is it about cloth designing!"
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Death

"Do you know what day is today?" asked amma. I was on a convenient holiday attributing to cold (remember I got wet in the rain while seeing VA?!). It took a while for me to even find today.. Nov 18. I immediately gave up and asked her the same question. "Today is my fathers death anniversary" she said. My train of thoughts immediately went back to the day when I first heard that news. "How many years now?" "This is the 10th year. He passed away in '98", she said.

1998 - its been 10 years since I passed 10th. i was in 11th standard (yeah C section) when the news came in. I was in the first bench (as usual) right in front of my Sanskrit teacher. Someone came in at around 10 AM (our pen-ultimate class for that day) and asked for me. Sanskrit teacher saw me and said.. "po paa," (go kid). I was a little surprised at his gesture. He generally is not a person who tolerates any distraction in his class. Maybe he sensed something was serious about this call. I too realized. I immediately concluded someone was dead. "Okay.. Who was it?", I was wondering!

Death has never been a trouble for me. In fact, whenever I hear someone die, I would, without any reason, start laughing. Though not immediately, but something will make me laugh.. Maybe seeing people around me cry saying "Ayo Paavam". (Sadist one may conclude.. Quiet possible). I always thought that dying was one of the good deeds and it confused me when at the funeral, people were attributing it to a sin.. (Some say that that ayyo paavam phrase is for the people who survive the dead.. Nevertheless, my confusion holds true! People are generally better off dead, I would think. I sometimes still do think)

I came to the place where the phone's handset was kept besides the main set. I picked up the receiver and uttered the inevitable word: "hello". My fathers friend, Mrs N was talking at the other side. She shared the news that our grandfather (mothers father) has passed away today morning. Saying that, she gave the phone to my mother. I could hear her crying on the other side. I was just silent and thought that the situation demanded more but I could manage only that. She said that she is leaving to Madras (we were in Madurai that time) and asked me if I was joining her. I don't remember what I told, but I should have told that I will come home and decide. Taking off from school was not an option for me. Even during college, bunking the class would trigger enormous guilt in me. Its so different at work these days, interestingly! 

I knew for sure that there was not even a sense of sadness in me. He was a great man. I like my mothers family more than my fathers. Especially, my grandfather and my mama (mothers brother who was staying with my grand father). I was not surprised by me being so indifferent about the whole news. Instead I was thinking whether I should take off or not. I returned to the class. Shared the news with Mr. A and he shared it with Mr. R. I don't remember A telling me anything nor did I ask him anything.
A few days later I came to know that R was amazingly surprised at my body language and my decision not to go to Madras despite the death. I was equally surprised at his reaction!

I went home. My mom, Mrs N and my fathers parents were all there. I didn't ask how he died or what happened. They said that he just passed away at home just before going to see a doctor to treat his cold that he was suffering that day. They were probably expecting me to react at least then. They came closer to me as if I needed some consoling. I was just as cool as any other soul but just kept my face a little grave. Amma then asked if I was joining her. She said appa would be going directly to Madras. I didn't speak a word. She thought a while and said, if you want you can stay with grandparents here. They are coming there only for the 10th day. I was rather happy with that option. I said, after sometime, not really after some thought, that I would stay with them.

After a few days after my mother returned back, she managed to ask the question that was running in her mind for a long time. "Why didn't you come? Your thaatha has done so much for you when you were a kid. You will fall sick every alternate day and he would be taking care of you while your father was away at middle-east.". I didn't have any answer to it. Neither did the conversation provoke any guiltiness in me or any other emotion for that matter. I replied, "Amma, I didn't find a point visiting someone after they had died". Maybe its a moral support for the family members, but that statement put an end to our conversation.

2008 - Today, I just think about the things that has managed my eyes to go wet. Death has never been in the list. But life has. So many beautiful beings have managed to make a dumb non-sentimental idiot to weep. Ever grateful to them, I am.
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Nov. 16th, 2008

Chase

First chase - Krishnan wooing Malini
Second - Surya begging Meghna (Sameera was more hot than beautiful, I felt)
Third - Surya hunting for the kid
Fourth - Priya wooing Surya
Fifth - Surya chasing his dream and joining army.
Sixth - Krishnan chasing his death by smoking - its a thing that he raised a great family (one of my friends commented).

Overall, I was indifferent with the movie of chases. Seemed to have inspired from The Alchemist. (One of my friends noted the similarity it shares with Forrest Gump. What a disgrace to the original movie!).  I found it poetic from Gautham's point of view. But the last thing I want a movie to convey is a message. And the last thing I want about the message is to be about how to live! 

But the thing that made the day memorable was that we were watching it sitting on the wet road, leaning on the car's front bumper, with two umbrellas for four of us, with cool breeze kissing us wildly and the drizzle adding to the melody. Wow! What a day at the drive-in. When we could not take it any longer, we went inside the car only to find our wind-shields misted out making it opaque to the stunning camera work of VA. Switching the A/C on and off, with occasional wiper sweeping the water off whenever one of the three heroines grab the screen, wiping the inside of the shield with the tissue paper, and most importantly making the whole movie enjoyable was some real out-of-box comments by the IIMA guys I went with.

The movie doesn't take tam cinema to any new heights except for the following:
1. The dual role did not seem technically apparent at any time in the visual (maybe thats because we didn't get to see anything!)
2. The fight sequences were just like what I had seen among 10th standard kids fighting over a girl in 6th standard. Just some random punches and kicks.
3. Does not have the college-friend-comedian

If you still wanna watch the movie, I suggest prarthana drive-in, with friends and a good car.

Nov. 15th, 2008

Random

I saw from distance,
stranger you thought.
I came closer,
someone known, you recognized.
I flowered a smile,
you thoughtfully reciprocated.
I came really closer,
worried you became.
I hung my head down,
in shame, you concluded.
I dropped a tear at your feet,
silly, you dismissed.
I left you right there ,
bewildered, you stood there.

Nov. 12th, 2008

The snake

So smooth and dancing,
Alive but stealthy yet.
You show your face,
now and then, inside me,
which I never see.
When is it the time,
to kiss my head?

Stealth and alive,
all at the same time.
Dancing and singing,
making it contagious.
Isn't it time,
that you kissed my head?!

Oct. 31st, 2008

Just a passing thought



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Now playing: A.R.Rahman - Manmohini Morey
via FoxyTunes    Yuvvraaj and other recent albums viz-a-viz other albums by other music directors in recent times, one thing that strikes out is...

Rahman - like the 7th century temples
 + rich in detail
 + amazing effort

Recent MD - like the marble temples.
 + so smooth - very superficial
 + very nice look wise - bereft of details

I have been hearing Yuvvraaj and Varanam Aayiram repeatedly recently.. The contrast is just apparent. I like both by the way.

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Now playing: A.R.Rahman - Manmohini Morey
via FoxyTunes   
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Oct. 27th, 2008

Deepavali

Its one thing to read about deepavali and understand it.. Its totally a different thing to be in India and be with it! 
Its amazing, sometimes when I think how tradition has been maintained so well in human community, particularly in India. One great soul once said, at a point of time in this part of the world, every day was a festival. They were celebrating all the 36[5|6] days! They were doing their daily work. But still it was like a holiday for them. As time passed, slowly some of them no longer continued to be a festival and we are now just left with 20 or so days. This was a response to the question "Why India has so many festivals" as if complaining.

I wish we all have every day as a holiday and only fun as work.

Wish you a very happy and joyous time on this occasion!

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